It is Mothers’ Day, a day that evokes different emotions for different people - love, joy, sadness, longing, grief and perhaps even pain for some.
It is also a day when the common phrase, "My Mother Can Do No Wrong" takes on added significance, serving as a testament to the love and admiration we feel for the women who raised us.
Yet today, I want to challenge you to take a closer look at this innocent statement and consider its implications for our relationships with our mothers, ourselves and even our relationship with our spouses and children.
While it's natural to hold our mothers in high regard, it's essential to remember that everyone, including mothers, are human and capable of making mistakes.
When we idealise our mothers and overlook their flaws, we may inadvertently internalise the belief that perfection is the standard to strive for. This unrealistic expectation also affects how we perceive ourselves, leading to feelings of inadequacy or ‘mum’ guilt and influencing our interactions with others (see previous blog post, "I'm Not A Good Mum")
Holding on to the belief, “My Mother Can Do No Wrong”, can lead to unhealed wounds which can manifest in our relationships with spouses and children. If we suppress or deny our mother’s flaws and mistakes, we may struggle to address and process the impact of past hurts, preventing us from healing and moving forward in our relationships.
Perceiving mothers as faultless beings, creates a sense of guilt for harbouring any negative emotions or criticisms towards them. This guilt may stem from the belief that we should only feel love and admiration towards our mothers at all times, regardless of their actions or behaviours. This is not healthy!
Perpetuating this belief that “My Mother Can Do No Wrong” leads to repeating cycles of behaviour in your own relationships and parenting styles.
But by recognizing and accepting both the positive qualities and imperfections in our mothers, we break free from these cycles and pave the way for healthier, more authentic connections with our loved ones.
So this Mother's Day, let's celebrate the beauty of imperfection and the strength that comes from embracing our humanity.
Instead of idolising the idea of a flawless mother, let's honour the real, imperfect, and wonderfully human women who have shaped us into who we are today.
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